Permission
Children exposed to incarceration through family or friends is more likely than not to to to prison. They see a prison sentence as a milestone life even for some a right of passage. Prison, a criminal lifestyle is rationalized. Yet this is not as simple as someone seeing bad, antisocial behavior as good. It's called implied, or implicit permission, and goes beyond the power of role models and peer pressure. Yet, if properly addressed, there is a real chance to drastically reduce generational incarceration.
Usually the phenomena of implicit permission is connected to clusters of suicides within schools and adolescent peer groups. Permission is implied/given when a person commits the act. It's not limited to peer, though they can and do have a major impact. Parents, uncles, aunts, teachers, coachs, etc., witnessed doing something outside of social norms, for example: shoplifting an item from a dollar store, gives permission. There is no direction, order, or pressure to emulate the act, yet having witnessed it rationalizes the behavior, thus the act itself gives permission for it to be emulated.
It is the passive nature of implicit permission that is so insidious. Parents, grandparents and other adults can use active interventions all they want to keep a child from doing something wrong all the while seemingly insignificant acts outside of their supervision undermine them. Usually these events are subtle. No one sets off fire works or holds a parade when their friend walks out of a dollar store with a nearly expired candy bar. Big, all too often catastrophic, events are the ones that draw notice.
In the case of adolescent suicides, people take notice news crews are deployed schools rush to field counselors parents close ranks children are sat down and talked to as soon as one occurs, all in hopes of preventing a cluster from forming. This type of proactive intervention is also needed in situations surrounding criminal behavior, whether the alleged act was committed by a role model, or a peer. The arrest of a family member is likely to trigger a response, and frankly should not be left solely to the family to deal with. Arrests are traumatic acts. They require specialized knowledge and skills to deal with, especially with small children.
Yet, it is not necessary for an arrest to become a turning point. After all it's the subtle acts that are giving permission away like take out flyers. To deal with these, the best tool is communication. Not just any kind of communication, nonviolent communication. This requires a high level of emotional availability, and engagement. It is essential to know what is going on in a child's life. This does not mean that it's okay to be a helicopter (,or drone) parent. Rather it means open discussions between family members, being open, and willing to be vulnerable. Feelings and needs should be discussed, anger examined for what it really represents.
Keeping kids on the straight and narrow has never easy. Defiance to authority is what Americans do, ask George III. The fact remains that no one is destined to be a criminal. Understanding the problems that lead to criminal behavior and intervening quickly and appropriately can make all the difference.
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